I even surprised myself to come back to this blog full of ideas to write a post about innocence only to realise I did last week! Huh?! Oh yes... now I remember. Honestly... I hope it's a sign I live in the present not that I am losing my mind that I completely forgot I did that. But the topic of innocence persists.
The inner voice alive in me is my inner youth - I am about 13 or 14 inside me at the moment. A time in my biography where everything in my life was being shattered into infinite pieces. I am still that, I am still there.
And the question posed by this predicament (to be 35 and seeking to reclaim my adolescence) is just HOW does one reclaim innocence; especially if you feel you were born an off shade of miswashed gray?
Things I do too much of... I can stop doing. But those things where I feel the lack? How can I pick them up? Money, affection, intimacy?
Tied intrinsically to this sense of guilt and shame I realise the sense of the hunt is on! I will reclaim my innocence if it's the last thing I do...
But how?
The first sensible suggestion has come to me this evening... play! Fun!
Prone to pouting and muttering like a sullen child "I don't know HOW to have fun"... I shall let you know how I get on.
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