What would life be like if everyone agreed with me and we all got on great? It would, frankly, be unreal and also would any of us really ever grow?
I have a friend who called me this morning and asked me about how my weekend had been. I shared a deep insight that had helped me greatly and had brought me into an incredibly good place and space - it was quite a breakthrough. My friend's response was "that's bollocks!"…
Now, I would feel more shocked if it hadn't come from this particular friend who is a yang to my yin and I choose to keep in my life for his refreshing and honest views which are often contrary to mine. I was shocked mind you that anyone has the brass to suggest that something someone is sharing really helped them would so radically deny it's value.
We bantered about it for a while but we both dropped it and moved on. What was most remarkable to me (with a long history of being swayed by other people's opinions no matter how out of alignment with my truth they might be) I noticed that the truth and the validity of my experience was unaffected by his challenge.
After he and I spoke I then had supervision and described the triumph of retaining my centre and personal opinion in the face of such a challenge and my supervisor described him as a "touchstone"…
What was amazing about this is that my supervisor doesn't know that I recently looked up the true meaning of touchstone for other reasons so I know that it is a rough stone against which precious metals are tested…
… and the character of Touchstone in Shakespeare's As You Like It is a holy fool and narrator that weaves together the story (see image at top).
So my belligerent friend is indeed a touchstone - testing my mettle and metal. And I can think of other people in my life like this too. My beloved is oft prey to tell me when I am saying one thing and doing another - "you were vegan last week now you eat meat pie?" "you are driving at 85 mph!" "you bully that cat, reverend"(I don't, we just have a banter) "you never wash up…
I can only retort that I am indeed a meat pie eating, fast driving, cat berating, housework averse slob (which my friend Lisa says "makes you sound ace")…
What purpose these touchstones that irritate and punctuate and drive against the flow of life? They test my mettle! What is authentic, what is false? What is real, what is lies? What belongs to me, what doesn't? Where am I polished, where is there still work?
As my supervisor pointed out; I must trust these touchstone friends deeply to risk allowing them close. And I do, I trust them, I love them and I thank them… often long before I forgive them *winks*.
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